I recently read the complete works of William Shakespeare. It took me 2 years, 9 months, and 18 days. I talked about it a lot on Facebook.
In June of 2013, I commenced reading the tragedies.
That’s a bad idea.
All kinds of crazy men.
It dawns on me that more tragedy awaits.
A letter to a star-crossed lover.
When I was in college, my roommates and I got tired of looking at the bare cinder block walls of our apartment.
So, we started writing down and hanging up all the cheesy pick-up lines we knew or had heard. Our friends and visitors contributed their own cheesy pick-up lines to the wall.
Pretty soon, our Pick-up Line Wall of Shame became something of a miniature tourist attraction in our apartment building.
As I was going through my quote file the other day—looking for something else entirely—I came across a rubber-banded bundle of paper that was the remains of the long-since dismantled wall of pick-up lines.
Because reading them made me laugh, I here present choice selections from the Pick-up Line Wall of Shame, circa 2003.
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put “U” and “I” together.
Wouldn’t we look cute on a wedding cake together?
Kill me if you must, but death, next to love, is a trivial thing.
(Name the movie! Extra points to the guy who uses a movie quote as pick-up line.)
If I followed you home, would you keep me?
Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
As I was reading Old Mortality by Sir Walter Scott, I came across the following words, which sent me to the dictionaries and the encyclopedias.
A man mentioned in the Bible in the Book of Joshua in connection with the fall of Jericho and conquest of Ai. (Wikipedia)
The doctrine that the state is superior to the church in ecclesiastical matters. It is named after the 16th-century Swiss physician and Zwinglian theologian Thomas Erastus, who never held such a doctrine. (Encyclopaedia Britannica)
A spring onion (Dictionary.com)
A mounted sentry in advance of the outposts of an army. (The Free Dictionary)